In which I forget how to be me
Or at least one version of me.
I’m a very organized person. You know, the kind of organized person that other people make Monica from Friends jokes about? Most of the time. I handed out timelines to wedding party members, vendors, hell even GRANDPARENTS at our rehearsal dinner so that everyone would know exactly where they were supposed to be and when they were supposed to be there. I plan vacation activities down to the day. I can tell you what we’re having for dinner every night this week as well as what days Topher is taking leftovers for lunch vs which days he gets to choose between a can Chef Boyardee from last year’s hurricane stash and a PB&J.
And yet today, I am all in a tizzy and feel as though I can’t find my sunglasses, car keys or underpants. Ok, well I can’t find my sunglasses, the car keys and underpants have been located.
I feel scattered and disconnected. I have no idea what I’m doing or what needs to be done, where I’m going or when I’m supposed to be there. Whether I am on track to accomplish very big and important things or if I will instead being wearing the same pair of jeans all week because I’m so distracted that I can’t remember to wash any clothing.
I’m a big list maker but at the moment I feel that I have too many lists going on. Perhaps the problem is that some of them are wholly in my head and some are partially written down and partially in my head. Also, there is no Master List.
And that’s where my real problem is. At this moment in my life I have more plates spinning than I can ever remember having. Blogging, sewing, baby-raising, marriage maintaining, job doing, life altering plan making… there are so many things going on right now and none of them are small. All demand attention in significant quantities. I can have all of the grocery/chore/blog post/BlogHer ’10 Sessions to check out/ territory review/ required trainings/ hot dog day/ vacation packing/ date night planning/garden seed buying lists in the world, but if I don’t have some kind of Master plan that tells me what tasks I need to be doing right now to make all of these big things come to fruition at the right time for my family and my work. I’m drowning.
So once again I come to my friendly neighborhood interweb friends for help. What do you guys do to keep it all together? How do you keep building the big picture stuff according to spec, while dealing with the day to day minutia?
How you do wear the same jeans for a week without everyone noticing?