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I don’t really know what I’m doing

December 3, 2009

Ok, so I kind of know what I’m doing.  I’ve blogged before.   In fact I’ve had three blogs.  I think.  Ok, at least 3 blogs.  I struggled mostly with how much of myself to put out there into the blogosphere (Wait, do y’all still say blogosphere?  I’ve been gone a while so please tell me when I’m being stupid.  Thanks.) and how much to keep private.)  so as I said, three different blogs.

One was supposed to be all private and anonymous, yet I invited people I knew in real life to read it and asked them to keep it private … I was (apparently) trying to work through some issues at that time and felt that I needed a place to go and yell and be kind of ugly and talk about paint cans and crazy juice or something.  I’m still unclear.  Anyway, it was supposed to be hush hush and anonymous like I said.  Guess how that went?  Damn right, freaking awesome that’s how.  Don’t get me wrong, it was some good stuff and more than one person spit carbonated beverage out of their nostrils while reading it.  But too difficult to maintain on several levels.

Another blog was up for a grand total of maybe 3 weeks and was in fact private. It was supposed to be a way for us to post baby pictures when the kid was new for the family.  That failed because who has that kind of time at that point in their lives?  Lots of people actually, just not us.

Then there was my very first blog.  That one was designed to keep friends and family up to speed on our adoption process first through Russia and then through Vietnam.  It was probably started about 3 years ago and eventually got so sad and depressed as a result of not being updated for so long (not making any progress for 2 years will do that) that it offed itself with a cheese grater.  It’s still waiting for anyone to notice.  Except for Tanya, she noticed.  But she’s the only one.

So like I said, I don’t really know what I’m doing.  I think what I’m shooting for is a way to be authentic and real without going to an emotional place that makes me feel like I need to be hiding in my closet wrapped in a sleeping bag humming It’s A Small World to myself while rocking back and forth.  Because if I’m there, I don’t need to be talking to you guys.  I need to be in therapy.

I imagine I’ll be talking about some random stuff, some funny stuff, some sappy stuff… I’m gonna try my best to stay away from any angry stuff cause that’s really just kinda boring for other people to read and also I don’t feel that I have a lot of that going on right now which is neat.  I would say I’m shooting for (again, these are goals people.  goals.  kind of like Oprah and her weight loss goals, get me?) a common thread or theme of parenting because that’s what most of my life is about right now.

Which brings me to the coolest kid around.  Miss Piper Jo.

My fabulous daughter is 11 and a half months old and the smartest, most beautiful, most delicious, most hilarious child you may ever be fortunate enough to meet.  She’s perfection and she’s mine and she makes me stronger and smarter and braver and prettier every day and I know I will never get tired of talking about her.  So maybe this blog will stick?  We’ll see.

One Comment leave one →
  1. emily bilbrey permalink
    December 17, 2009 2:23 am

    yay blog yay! i hope it sticks indeed! welcome lady – and thanks so much for the kind works on my post regarding my weaning troubles. you’re a peach! i look forward to future posts and photos of miss piper. she is a DOLL, and so are you! xoxo.

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